Why I Already Appear to Suck at Blogging

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Within the chaotic membrane of his mind, the voice of one man-boy stands alone… with others. 

Okay so I’ve really been lacking in the whole keeping this thing updated… thing. I think it’s largely because I have no idea what I’m doing and no idea what to write. I keep thinking I have to write with a very poignant purpose and forget that that’s not what this blog is for. This is supposed to be an outlet for me to write more but recently I’ve been treating it like my bank account and have just tried to avoid dealing with it at all costs. That’s just a poor play on my part. So thus I shall try and challenge myself and write on here every day this week (up to Friday). And now that I’m contractually obligated via my word on the interwebs, maybe I’ll actually do something. 

There really are a startling amount of both struggling and successful writers out there and this website also brings that to light. This too has contributed to my lack of willpower. It just feels overwhelming. It’s just a really awful positive feedback loop (fun science terms) where I see so many people with the same dream as I do and it just freaks me out to no end, which makes me not write and not improve, and then adds more self-doubt into the mix and repeats the process. Really just a shitty time to be had by all. So that should change hopefully. 

There’s just a lot of stuff I’ve gotta sort out right now and it’s doing my head in. Maybe I should just put it into perspective and accept that undergrads are essentially meaningless anyways. But then that opens me up to more options because who cares in the long run! Ahhhh who told me to make this blog this is going horribly. Who cares about career paths and future ambitions and stuff anyways? The civil engineers of the world? Well that’s already out the window, so maybe I should just relax. I have time, I think. Maybe I’ll go into business. Maybe I’ll go into film studies. Maybe I’ll stick with philosophy. Maybe I’ll go into creative writing. Maybe English lit. Who knows. Well I probably should I guess.

While I can appreciate the attempt at wit I was going for a couple months ago with the whole imbedded-gif-within-text thing, it really wasn’t that funny and was pretty forced. And realistically… Maybe I should try and let my writing work for me a bit more.

Man, this blog is a train wreck. Stay tuned for better things to come, can’t get any worse then these trivial ramblings of an extremely lost college student. Bear with me here (to be fair, I did apologize in advance).

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